Letters of Joy and Sadness

It has been a while since my last post. We braved the waters of the Atlantic Ocean on the tiniest international airplane I've ever been and arrived back on US soil on June 10th - almost three months and counting today.

We have the last 90 days adjusted back to US life in a sense. It seems so ironic that an adjustment back to your native culture would seem so odd. I have lived my life in the US for the first 26 years, but after just 2 years away in Spain, things are so hard to get back used to. I miss the ability to walk across my town on a sunny afternoon, walk to the grocery with carrito in hand, and catch a bus and train into Madrid at the spur of the moment.

We knew the people aspect of our transition would be the hardest. Just like leaving family and friends two years ago was difficult - the feeling we had in leaving Spain to come back was harder somehow. My heart has this indescribable hole. I dream of our "kids" often - just living our normal activities with them. Facebook is a blessing, yet a curse I find. All the back-to-school activities and photos brought more pain to my heart as I know exactly what's happening and yearn to be a part of it, but know it's not possible now.

We received two cherished letters filled with handwritten notes from students and staff from their first day of school last week. Our dear friend, Stephanie, mailed them to us, and it's been a while since we've received such a treasured piece of mail. Each student that wrote a note I shed a tear for - how was their summer? what classes do they have 1st period? how did opening chapel go? how are they doing today? Simple questions that I wish I could ask them face-to-face and see their expressions but this year I can't.

I feel I'm forever lately asking God the question, "Why?" Why do we have to be away? Why does this have to take so long? Why are we so far away from friends, co-workers, and our students?

And honestly I don't (and won't) know the answers to these questions at this point in time nor, possibly, on this side of eternity, but I do trust God and his plan, and know that someday (and we pray soon) we will be back at ECA, serving the students and staff as long as God desires.