the call to come

Throughout our lives, God has been orchestrating and preparing us for the path that lies in front of us. As Adam and I are slowly closing in on 30 years old, we can look behind us and see a glimpse of the path. For me, it is a path with many curves and intersections. Since I was 10 years old, I wanted to become an accountant. Numbers and financial data were things that I loved and I wanted to spend my life doing just that. My parents never had to push me to do my best - I knew internally that is what I had to do. I never wanted to disappoint people, and when I did, I vowed to make a mental note and not repeat it again. This desire kept me accountable on one hand, but on the other, debilitated me in a sense. I, like any other "American", desired the husband, family, closeness of other family members, and success in a career - who doesn't? And trust me, I had my career plan mapped out: UNC-Chapel Hill for Business School, UNC-Chapel Hill for my Masters in Accounting, CPA exam, Big 4 firm, husband, kids, etc. etc. But God, who knows me intimately, created me, and gave me the passion for finances had a bigger plan....I didn't get into to UNC's one year Masters in Accounting program, and I slowly began to crumble. My plan!?! What was happening? No problem, Emily...just make a Plan B. I would work at my internship (Food Lion), take a year off, and reconsider if the CPA was truly my objective. And honestly (in hindsight) as much I was disappointed that my plan wasn't following through, I was more terrified that my control of the situation was not what I anticipated it would be. It wasn't entirely there.

However, my loving God was still going to use me to accomplish his will despite my desire for control and not wanting to disappoint others. The biggest impact spiritually for me during college was our involvement with the Summit Church, the church we attended. The pastor, JD Greear, challenged us with the word each Sunday and desired for the church to be an impact spiritually in the community we lived. He had a special heart for college students and we saw the church thrive and reach out to us right where we were. Also, he challenged us to think missionally. Adam and I had participated in short term mission trips and thoroughly enjoyed them. Giving back to those who had significantly less than ourselves was so rewarding and was a reminder of how much God truly sacrificed for us through his Son. However, JD didn't just challenge us to commit our Spring Breaks or summers to short term missions. He encouraged us to think foreign, broader missions. He would phrase it like this, "If you are a college student and aren't sure what you want to do after graduation, consider two years oversees serving." Well, that was fine and great for "those students". I was not in that group though (or so I thought). I had my plan, so obviously, missions was not for me. But internally, truthfully, I felt a twinge in my heart each time he asked that of us. But I kept adding, what I call now, a "invisible brick" to my wall around serving Christ wherever he desired me to go. There was NO way I would serve on the mission field. Talk about disappointing people!

But God didn't give up. He continued to use situations and people to strengthen that twinge I felt about once a month that I quickly silenced. He used, more profoundly, a mission trip to Brazil that we took our youth group on at our church. We served 10 days with two dear couples and we saw internally into their lives. We saw the ministry aspect and the home aspect, and I was truly shocked to see how "normal" (in a sense) it seemed. They did what God led them to do. They met with people and did Bible studies. They loved them where they were and they made coffee every morning like every normal person does. They were just doing it in another location. God moved me greatly in Brazil, and I began to think - what does that mean for me? I certainly didn't feel "qualifed" for being a missionary. I didn't go to Bible College. Adam didn't go to seminary. And then God opened a very clear door to the path he desired for us - Spain. There were needs at the MK school that we currently serve at. They needed a science teacher and (prepare to have goosebumps) a business manager. Clear as day, God was telling me that I need to take a leap of faith and leave my comforts. I needed to leave the job that I loved, the friends that we loved, and the family that we so loved and did not want to see us go. For two years, we were committing to serving and not earning a dime. Nearly a hundred supporters gave and are supporting us to do the task that God has showed to us presently. And honestly, it has been the hardest task I have ever imagined. I have given up about all the control that I was so desperately trying to maintain, but the loss of that control has produced a life that if far more better than the "good plan" I had. God has used many situations here to show me that prayer and a close relationship to him is worth sacrifices, difficulties, and frustrations. It's worth it to trust in him, because honestly he loves us more than earthly individuals do. He can see beyond tomorrow and next year and knows what our lives can ultimately be if we simply give it to him.

One of my favorite verses is in Colossians and it says, "Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." That verse has meant much to me because at times I felt like - what can I do? I can't do that. But God was telling me - "No. You can with me." 

time & blessings

12 weeks remain until we come upon another big move. Can it really be that two years has passed so quickly? Today, it's hard for me to fathom that our lives here have to start to wrap up in a little less than 3 months. Our families and friends stateside are eagerly awaiting our return, while our kids at school, Spanish friends, ECA family, and co-workers here are constantly asking how long until we return back to Spain.

Despite the difficulty in processing living this life at times, I marvel at the fact of the blessings that God has allowed us to be a part of. He has challenged, stretched, and molded us beyond what I could have imagined and while we gave up a part of our lives to live here, we have gained more that can be described. And as we start to process leaving this life that we've so grown accustom to, it brings a deep sadness on many fronts. I will miss my students and their excitement in learning about credit cards vs. debit cards. I will miss singing hymns in Spanish and listening to a Spanish sermon. I will miss walking everywhere and greeting others with an "hola" and heading out with a "hasta luego". I will miss my Wednesday morning prayer group. I will miss my Spanish/English class with Carmen. I will miss the Spanish plateaus. I will miss mid-day runs with co-workers. I will miss the joy of serving where we are needed.

(and probably as my mother reads this, she's starting to cry and she's saying, "HEY, we've missed you MORE!") All of our family members and friends are saying that...and to be honest as well, we yearn to see them very much. We feel double blessed - blessed to be here but also blessed to go back to see our family and friends once more.

At ECA, 3 of the 4 Friday mornings we have a small chapel service that we start the day off with. At the beginning of the year, we had one of our staff share about how there are times when you take blind steps of faith and put total trust in God. Many times we cling to things and people don't rely on God fully to handle our situation or carry us through a difficult time. He encouraged us to give things to Christ that we were clinging tightly to.

Within my own heart, there were two things that God was desiring 100% that I was too clingy toward: seeing my family daily and climbing the corporate ladder. Now these two things are not bad things, but I had made them too much of a priority in my life. At that moment, I was thankful for my time here but was itching to get back to America, prosperity, family. I wasn't continuing to be fully open for the will God had for my life. So when I gave those two things to God, they were big. I love accounting and the corporate environment. My job back in the States was the best. It wasn't a perfect job but I worked with great co-workers whom I respected. We worked hard together and got along well together as well. I loved what I did. Seeing my family everyday was the hardest though...to give completely to God. Having nieces and nephews and sisters and brothers and parents that you love and have a good relationship make it so hard to be so far away. But deep down, I knew I needed to give that to God completely. Trust him with the path he had for my life.

As I gave those things to God, I found that God used that to open our hearts and confirm that Spain is the location where we desire to serve for as long as God desires us too. Knowing we have to return and begin support raising again, we laid our plans out to God - where you do want us in the States? And honestly, God surprised us greatly. He wants us right back where we were prior to coming to Spain. He opened the door and orchestrated the perfect timing for me to go back to my old job! He's allowing us to be 15 minutes away from both of our families. And while these may seem like small things to others, these things floor me because I gave these to God but he's giving them back to me for a time. Amazing.

What amazing blessings has God done in your life? Are they things that you gave up to him? Have you considered giving up the things you cling so tightly too and see what God can do in your life and with your trust and surrender? It's worth it.