12 weeks remain until we come upon another big move. Can it really be that two years has passed so quickly? Today, it's hard for me to fathom that our lives here have to start to wrap up in a little less than 3 months. Our families and friends stateside are eagerly awaiting our return, while our kids at school, Spanish friends, ECA family, and co-workers here are constantly asking how long until we return back to Spain.
Despite the difficulty in processing living this life at times, I marvel at the fact of the blessings that God has allowed us to be a part of. He has challenged, stretched, and molded us beyond what I could have imagined and while we gave up a part of our lives to live here, we have gained more that can be described. And as we start to process leaving this life that we've so grown accustom to, it brings a deep sadness on many fronts. I will miss my students and their excitement in learning about credit cards vs. debit cards. I will miss singing hymns in Spanish and listening to a Spanish sermon. I will miss walking everywhere and greeting others with an "hola" and heading out with a "hasta luego". I will miss my Wednesday morning prayer group. I will miss my Spanish/English class with Carmen. I will miss the Spanish plateaus. I will miss mid-day runs with co-workers. I will miss the joy of serving where we are needed.
(and probably as my mother reads this, she's starting to cry and she's saying, "HEY, we've missed you MORE!") All of our family members and friends are saying that...and to be honest as well, we yearn to see them very much. We feel double blessed - blessed to be here but also blessed to go back to see our family and friends once more.
At ECA, 3 of the 4 Friday mornings we have a small chapel service that we start the day off with. At the beginning of the year, we had one of our staff share about how there are times when you take blind steps of faith and put total trust in God. Many times we cling to things and people don't rely on God fully to handle our situation or carry us through a difficult time. He encouraged us to give things to Christ that we were clinging tightly to.
Within my own heart, there were two things that God was desiring 100% that I was too clingy toward: seeing my family daily and climbing the corporate ladder. Now these two things are not bad things, but I had made them too much of a priority in my life. At that moment, I was thankful for my time here but was itching to get back to America, prosperity, family. I wasn't continuing to be fully open for the will God had for my life. So when I gave those two things to God, they were big. I love accounting and the corporate environment. My job back in the States was the best. It wasn't a perfect job but I worked with great co-workers whom I respected. We worked hard together and got along well together as well. I loved what I did. Seeing my family everyday was the hardest though...to give completely to God. Having nieces and nephews and sisters and brothers and parents that you love and have a good relationship make it so hard to be so far away. But deep down, I knew I needed to give that to God completely. Trust him with the path he had for my life.
As I gave those things to God, I found that God used that to open our hearts and confirm that Spain is the location where we desire to serve for as long as God desires us too. Knowing we have to return and begin support raising again, we laid our plans out to God - where you do want us in the States? And honestly, God surprised us greatly. He wants us right back where we were prior to coming to Spain. He opened the door and orchestrated the perfect timing for me to go back to my old job! He's allowing us to be 15 minutes away from both of our families. And while these may seem like small things to others, these things floor me because I gave these to God but he's giving them back to me for a time. Amazing.
What amazing blessings has God done in your life? Are they things that you gave up to him? Have you considered giving up the things you cling so tightly too and see what God can do in your life and with your trust and surrender? It's worth it.
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